Free checklist · for families
Questions to Ask an Assisted Living Facility
Every assisted living tour shows you the nicest apartment and the dining room at its best. These are the questions that get past the tour: about care, money, and what an ordinary day is like. Each one comes with what a good answer sounds like, so you can tell a real answer from a sales one. The printable checklist has room for three places side by side.
What assisted living is, in one paragraph
Assisted living is help with daily life (bathing, dressing, medications, meals) in a residential setting, for people who don't need round-the-clock nursing. It is licensed by each state, not by the federal government, so the rules on staffing, training, and what care is allowed differ from state to state. That is why the questions below matter more here than for a nursing home: there is no national star rating to lean on.
Before you tour
- Ask for the most recent state inspection or licensing report before you go. Many states post them online; search your state's name with "assisted living inspection reports".
- Call your state's long-term care ombudsman. Every state has one, it's free, and they can tell you whether complaints have been filed. The Eldercare Locator (1-800-677-1116) will connect you.
- Write down the three things your parent needs help with today, and the one thing they'll refuse to give up. Ask every question with those in mind.
The 19 questions to ask
Under each question: what a good answer sounds like. Write down what they actually say; the checklist has a line for it.
Care and staffing
- What help is included in the base rate, and what costs extra?A good answer: A written list of care levels or add-on services, each with a price, and a clear rule for what moves someone to a higher level.
- How many staff are on duty during the day, and how many overnight, for how many residents?A good answer: Actual numbers for day, evening, and night. "We're always fully staffed" is not an answer.
- Is there a nurse on site, and during which hours?A good answer: Specific hours, and who covers when the nurse isn't there.
- Who gives out medications, and what training do they have?A good answer: A named role, a described training, and a way medication errors are tracked and reported to family.
- What happens when a resident falls or has a medical emergency at night?A good answer: How the call system works, how fast someone comes, and exactly when the family gets a phone call.
- How long have the director and the care staff worked here?A good answer: An honest answer. Long-serving staff are one of the best signs you can find; heavy turnover is one of the worst.
Money and the contract
- What is the monthly rate, and how much has it gone up each year for the last three years?A good answer: The history, in writing. Every community raises rates; the good ones will tell you by how much.
- Is there a community or entrance fee, and is any of it refundable?A good answer: A plain yes or no, with the amount and the refund terms in the contract.
- What notice is needed to move out, and what is charged after a move or a death?A good answer: A stated notice period (often 30 days) and no surprises in the fine print.
- Do you accept Medicaid, and what happens if my parent's savings run out?A good answer: A clear answer. Medicaid coverage of assisted living varies by state and by community; if they don't take it, you need to know the plan before you sign.
- Under what conditions would you ask my parent to move out?A good answer: Written discharge criteria, such as needing two people to transfer or leaving the building unsafely. Ask for them in writing.
An ordinary day
- Can I see this month's activity calendar, and can I sit in on an activity?A good answer: A calendar with something every day, including evenings and weekends, and residents actually in the room when you look. A handsome calendar with an empty activity room is a warning.
- How will you help my parent get to know people in the first month?A good answer: A named staff person for the first weeks, or a resident who acts as a welcomer. "They'll settle in" means nobody is assigned.
- Can we eat a meal here before we decide?A good answer: Yes, without hesitation. Ask about choices, special diets, and whether mealtimes are flexible.
- How do residents get to doctor's appointments, and what does it cost?A good answer: A scheduled service with a stated fee or an honest "family arranges it".
- What can my parent bring from home?A good answer: Their own furniture, photos, and pictures on the walls. Ask about pets and about the one object that matters most.
When needs change
- If my parent develops dementia, can they stay?A good answer: Either a memory care area on site with its own staff, or an honest answer about when they'd need to move and where people usually go.
- Can a resident receive hospice care here?A good answer: Yes, with outside hospice agencies welcome, so your parent doesn't have to move at the end.
- If my parent goes into the hospital, is the apartment held?A good answer: Yes, and the rules for how long and at what cost.
What to check with your own eyes
- Go back a second time without an appointment, at a mealtime or early evening, when the tour staff have gone home.
- Watch how long a call light or a resident's request waits for an answer.
- Look at the residents mid-morning: dressed, groomed, and doing something, or parked in front of a television.
- Talk to a resident or a visiting family member for five minutes without staff nearby.
- Trust your nose and your ears. A good building smells clean, not perfumed, and sounds calm.
Red flags
- Pressure to sign today to "hold" a move-in special.
- Vague answers about staffing numbers or rate increases.
- No written discharge criteria.
- An activity calendar nobody seems to be using.
Take the Assisted Living checklist on the tour
Every question above in large print, with a line for their answer, a what-to-look-for page, and a sheet to compare three places side by side. Free, plus one useful email a month. Unsubscribe anytime.
After the move: the visits
Whichever place you choose, the visits are what make it home. The first few are the hardest to fill. A handful of conversation starters or a page of trivia from their young years gives you something to do together besides asking how the food is.
